And almost without thinking I answered almost intuitively
“Always, I wouldn’t know be common”
And thinking later about it, I realized that I always felt strange even among my circle , always had difficulty fitting me in the “normal pattern”, despite i having many friends. I’m the one who always made perplexing questions, deep questions, i am the one who want to know about the feelings, the past, the sad stories, the most joyfull day in your life, what move you. But common people don’t like those questions, so i tried common themes, ordinaries things. I realize that with those questions maybe i did the people look inside at themselves, and maybe bothered them. I like to see other possibilities, new angles, look through the shadows, look for the hidden things.
But what is the life lived at surface without depth, without seeking? I can’t , i could not live in this way, never did it, never want to live like this. In these exact moment of my life i am abandoning all I build on 20 years, and i have not fear, i am very happy indeed. I feel the winds in my hair, the winds of freedom, of letting go. I don’t feel sadness because i lived all in a formidable and deep way, so now i just letting go.
I don’t like common life, common things, common thoughts. Life is much more.
And sadly I realized that even in people with large accumulation of culture, I find mediocrity, because no matter how many culture they possess, they choose a ordinary life, full of fears and walls. They possess a huge amount of culture without use. A wise with a huge mediocrity, nothing could be more tragic.
And few minutes ago i received from a friend (coincidences of life) from “friend day”:
“they dare to follow their hearts to dream, to reinvent themselves. Every day they don’t give up, even when they are exhausted they shine.”